Wring that Sponge out!

by Grant

    I recently was informed that Children are like sponges and that they absorb what they see and hear. This was counter to my argument that cartoons have negligible affect on the wee munchkins. Alas, in the heat of the exchange, my point was ill phrased and further stoked the fires of discontent (hey, you can have a winter of discontent, why not a fire?). Personal quarrels aside, I was forced to examine what my children see and hear to make sure that I am not warping them beyond a reasonable amount (basically I stop before it legally constitutes abuse). NO! My goal is not to warp my children, please! I am not that weird... or am I? No! I'm really not. Ok, well, the point is that I don't want to subject my children to the various and sundry evils of the world. So, let's say that I watch the Simpsons. My children are there and watch it with me. I am aware of this. I have a TV Guardian that effectively blocks over 90% of the naughty words (or at least, that I find objectionable to children and short relatives). As they watch the show, I tell them when something is "naughty" or they will ask me. If I find the subject matter unreasonable I will skip whole chunks or shut off the show entirely. Hmm... well, it's that or watch something "adult" such as CSI:Miami where they delve into shattered bodies in graphic detail (BTW, I like CSI:any city).

But I've decided that I'm keep doing what I'm doing. And when my kid picks up a word (whether from TV or his Uncle) I will squeeze him like a sponge until it's all out. Then, I'll stick him under a heat lamp until all traces are gone. Hmm... I'm not sure if I have a heat lamp big enough. Anybody know of a tanning bed for sale cheap?