Insanity

Ok, so it took long enough. I'm sorry. so very sorry for the madness and frustration that I caused my parents. Now I understand why my Dad (& Mom) got so frustrated when we did stupid things. I of course, don't remember a fraction of the stupid things but I do remember utter disgust a time or two and now I understand why. For example, I remember chasing Forrest into the house and him slamming the back door in my face. It was just a swinging door so I (being angry) just stuck my hand out really fast and hit the door with the palm of my hand. Unfortunately, my aim wasn't so good and I hit a glass window pane. I got some small scratch on me and I'm sure I bellowed like a cow who thought he was going to the laughter house, but in reality was going to the slaughter house (the "S" fell off the sign you see). But what I remember most was the lack of sympathy from my parents. Evil parents. I was hurt! Mom tried to explain it to me and I understood intellectually but it wasn't until recently that I feel the visceral frustration at all the things my kids do. Jumping up and down on a bed or couch? Not a big deal until the item that was a trampoline is now destroyed. And that's just it--destruction. Kids are so destructive. I cannot keep up. I resolved earlier this year to try to stay on top of things more in the house-upkeep department. One day I was told that the kids broke the drywall in a bedroom. So, I fix it. Before I even have time to think about a second coat of drywall mud and sanding, they break another hole in the wall of section I just repaired! So, Mom, Dad, I understand and I feel your pain now.

It was Titus...

...that had the idea first. He took his sandals off and used his bare feet.

So today I'm trying to "winterize" the house. I haven't gotten very far, but I did manage the clean the chimney. Normally this would just be a nuisance, but we had our roof replaced earlier this year with tin. Ok, "metal." I wasn't too concerned as I've been on metal roofs a lot in my life, but when I started up the incline to where the chimney was I just spun my "wheels." I think i'm going to use quotes a few more times. Now then, I was in a bit of a conundrum. I looked at the surface and I noticed that it wasn't normal metal roofing. At least, not the kind I was used to. It had (has?) some kind of coating and I could not get any purchase. Finally I got a running start and scrabbled (yes that's a word) up. As I neared the top I was running out of energy and time. Finally, just like you see in the movies, with my last bit strength I lunged towards the peak of the roof and grabbed  the edge. With my fingertips I was able to get a grip (literally) and hang on. I then drug myself up to the peak and hung over the edge a little. I was exhausted. I'm sure it probably would have been amusing to an onlooker, but I was desperate because I knew I wasn't going to have the energy again anytime soon to try that again. Thankfully, once I got up there Forrest was able to hand me the chimney sweep. Then he tried to climb up and he couldn't. So I held one end of the chimney sweep down so he could use that to pull himself up. Finally he got up and then we were tripping over each other trying to not slide down. I was able to brace myself against the chimney and forrest just held onto the peak of the roof. So then I proceeded to clean the chimney which involves breathing in a lot of soot. Before I was done, Titus climbed up. When he got to where the steeper roof incline started he ran into the same issue that Forrest and I had. But Titus, that wasn't going to stop him. So he took off his sandals and climbed up like a little monkey. Well, that's cool I thought, but I didn't think much of it. But then when it was time to climb down, Forrest said he was scared so I told him to take his shoes off and do what Titus did. But when I went to climb down I understood Forrest's fear. If I started sliding down, I wasn't going to stop. So, before we were done we all three were climbing down barefoot.

So, now you know what to do if you can't climb up a roof without sliding down.