I have wasted so much time

a song by cake. I think it's appropriate though, don't you?

i think part of the problem with a blog is that it's difficult to give any sort of high level view. It gives insight into what is going on at that moment, but doesn't really reflect the ongoing trials & tribulations. valleys and mountains. highs and lows. This has been an interesting year. Last year I began to dislike my job. Things changed and i never could get a handle on the changes. I don't handle change well. at least, not negative change. Things came to a head when I started having stomach problems at the end of december. The problems  progressively got worse which caused me to miss work. Although I was doing my best, I couldn't seem to get a handle on things which was just making me more miserable. So, finally I had an opportunity to make a change and after 11 years I switched jobs.

So far, it's been mostly sweet with a small helping of bitter. The drive doesn't really bother me. not yet. But I have winter to go through. Frustration with transport devices has been one of my highest stress items. Winter is coming and I have to get my wood situation straightened out. We are planning on renting a log splitter to try to split the mess of wood on the property.

But none of this stuff really matters because it's all temporal. Family is more important and more interesting to most people (women).  This year has improved a bit I think. School is definitely easier because we put Forrest into 3rd grade at the local school. He had a bit of an issue w/ a fifth grader for a while but that seems to calmed down now. He handled it pretty well. I am impressed at what he is growing to be. The constant source of frustration is his attitude towards his mother, but as much as I try to support Rebekah, that battle is mostly hers to fight. I'm simply not around enough when this "attitude" is taking place. It's not exactly like he's attitude free with me, but I think a lot of it is the frustration of selfishness. Titus is maturing as well. Both boys helped me at the church today do a bunch of hard work and I was pleased with them. They worked well until they got tired and even then they still worked, just slower. The girls Liberty and Serenity are starting to get put to work as well. I am hopeful that they can start making life a little cleaner around the house if not easier. Trinity is still Daddy's girl but I'm not a complete pushover. She gets in trouble with me and gets spanked. But sometimes she will listen to me when she won't Rebekah. It's hard to turn her away from a path she wants to go, but rather I must redirect her. Tricky at times. Especially to do it without letting her get her own way. Clell, well, we love Clell. He's still a holy terror, but a sweet and lovable terror if such a thing exists. Someday, he won't get into everything. we hope.

Rebekah and I think are doing the worst. But we're still kicking. With any luck or grace from God, we can get them all to 18 or greater before I have a heart attack.

p.s. this blog has been going for over 5 years