stabby stabby

So, there I was in Home Depot, and I'm going through Dexter withdrawals and I just had to see some blood and nobody else was in the aisle so, sigh, i was forced to go all stabby on myself. Not my prefered outlet, but much less prison time go I guess it was a win-win after all. In truth, I was trying to unscrew a setscrew from an ancient door-knob and the screw was, well, less than its self (translation: it was half broken). And of course, I was using my knife as a screwdriver which doesn't sound quite as stupid as you might think. Anywho, push came to shove and I pushed hard and shoved the knife right off the screw into the "meaty" part of my left hand. My first thought was "#!@." My second thought was "Dang, that blood is dark." My third thought was "Dang, I hope I don't faint." My fifth thought was, "What kind of wuss faints at a little blood?" My sixth thought was, "How'd I get down here?" Ok, not really. I didn't faint, but I did feel a little woozy as it was late in the day and I hadn't had lunch yet. So, tried to cup my hand to keep the blood from spilling and getting biohazard response from a bunch of orange-aproned dudes yelling "Swarm Swarm!" I scurried to the bathroom as casually as one can when one is scurrying while holding a handful of blood and burst into the mens room only to find NO PAPER TOWELS! Argh! They had those stupid commie hand dryers. That's great if I want to redecorate the bathroom in a red mist but my goal was containment, not spreading the crimson contagion. So, after spinning around wildly I go to a stall and quickly debate of trying to spin enough paper off those toilet paper misers or grab one of those sani-thingies for the toilet. I decide on the sani-thingy and use it to staunch the flow of blood. Then I wandered over to a nest of aprons and thankfully got a guy who wordless got my band-aid. And then, some women saw me. Thankfully, my tough exterior kept them from voicing their concern to a minimum. Although, as I was walking around later a woman asked me how my hand was. As far as I know I was able to capture all of it but for a couple drops which I cleaned up later. Then I gave up and went and bought a new door knob. So ended my adventure @ home depot.